Chronicle (2012) — Fus Ro Dah: The Movie
Found footage films have been doing really well in the horror market. So, it’s no wonder someone decided to schlep it over to other genres. But here in Chronicle, it’s completely unnecessary at best, and pretty annoying at worst. Let me explain by using an example from my actual life. I’m a novelist. No, really. Well, in my last book, one of the negative things some people said about it was just how much my talking about the characters writing the words they were reading took them out of the story. It’s a valid complaint and fits what happens to this movie too. Having Chronicle filmed by its characters could have been a neat trick. The only problem is they have to keep making excuses for how it makes any sense. Worse, eventually it doesn’t make any sense and they have to go outside the main characters to keep the viewer’s eyes on the scene.
Not that the main characters are really all that engaging to begin with. This is the second problem I have with found footage films used outside of the horror genre. In scary movies, we don’t really care much about the people. They’re just fodder for the bad things that are going to end up happening to them. They can be, and often are, virtual unknown attractive actors who are talentless in every way but screaming. The trio of boys that get telekinetic powers via a never explained source, also kind of fit that bill. Except, in movies like this, we really *do* want to care about them so they need to have some acting skills. But they really don’t. Only in haphazardly edited scenes where the boys are getting to know how their powers work and are trying to one-up one another do they really click. And then, I think it’s because they were just being themselves as buddies.
Really, what Chronicle has going for it is the gee-whiz coolness that taps into something pretty primal in us. The age old question goes: If you had a superpower what would it be? Telekinesis makes for a great answer and ends up giving us some pretty awesome visuals to boot. But even in this sense the film just doesn’t do a very good job. We start the plot with a misunderstood and bullied boy, and we end it with all hell breaking lose following a typical ‘coming of age’ Senior Year Party™. The teenager elements are cliche, and the final act is blown so far out of proportion it comes at the audience like a ton of bricks. Worse, as I eluded to before, we’re forced to watch the ending through cameras desperately needing to be found wherever they can just to keep the whole charade going.
I don’t read other people’s reviews before going to see movies. I wait until after I’ve penned my own review just to make sure I don’t intentionally end up saying what others have said. I do know, however this time, that Chronicle has got some pretty good reviews and made some bank during Super Bowl weekend, one of the hardest to do so. Whatever movie they saw, I hope they enjoyed themselves, but me, I got a nosebleed and a headache from feeling like I had the excitement rug pulled out from under me. Still, I sometimes felt like I was being entertained, so maybe the grade is a hint higher than it should be.
Oh boy, another “found footage” movie! I haven’t been this excited since… I hate these movies. Can’t stand them, just like I can’t stand any gimmick as your major selling point. I also feel incredibly cheated since the trailers made it look like a “normal” movie and then I got suckered in to 84 long long minutes of handy-cam work. This one doesn’t really have the decency (or maybe it was smarter?) to give a cutesy “we found this footage, never heard from again” explanation to the POV shooting style, which I think made it worse – I was expecting the movie to snap out of “boy with a camera” mode for about 20 minutes before I realized this was it. Should have done my research, I suppose.
Let me see if I can explain the plot of Chronicle without spoiling too much. Unpopular kid decides to boost his popularity by wandering around with a camera filming everything. Many awkward staring at boobies scenes happen. Ha! Ha! Then he, his cousin, and the Popular Guy find some strange cave that gives them teleke..telokoni..mind powers that allow them to lift objects and fly through the air. Unpopular kid somehow becomes a little popular, but then like all popularity the winds shift, it’s too much for his fragile psyche, and he snaps signaling the beginning of one of the longest, most repetitive fight scenes since the all of Shoot ‘Em Up.
Max Landis, the writer, says in a Reddit chat:
Found footage is a medium that’s yet to really find its footing. It should be entirely based in character. Cloverfield didn’t do anything other giant monster movies haven’t done, which bothered me because Found Footage should always be more personal in my opinion; Paranormal Activity really is something special.
Allow me to interpret: ”I wrote a gimmicky movie, but I think I should be respected anyway. Do you know who my dad is? Cloverfield sux because J.J. Abrams, Paranormal Activity awesome because bandwagon. Do you know who my dad is?” Sure it should be personal – we have someone running their mouth behind that camera, so we get to know the character and their ideas on every little thing. Chronicle has a serious problem in this respect – none of the characters are likable. Andrew, the Unpopular kid, never progresses past his “feel sorry for me” attitude about his life. Sure it’s rough, but life doesn’t always go your way bucko. You can’t fly of the handle with your superpowers and start killing innocent bystanders because your dad didn’t love you enough. You’ll never win sympathy from movie viewers in that way because that’s a real life situation that some people have managed to get past and deal with it without resorting to mass murder. His cousin is stuck in neutral as well - pseudo intellectual that sort of stops being quite so judgmental of everyone around him and eventually just runs away from it all. And Popular Guy is just filler until he’s out of the picture.
The technical aspects of the film left me limp and withdrawn as well. Point of view usually stays either with the primary camera for the entire film, or it switches between other found cameras of the same action. We were going fine with Andrew for a bit until Casey comes along and she films stuff too! Now we can conveniently leave Andrew when we’re bored with his antics instead of sticking with it. During the long (long. long. long. long.) fight scene, we switch to a number of conveniently placed shots that completely cover the action with great sound. A little late to be asking for that level of suspension of disbelief. The SFX came across as youtubeish in nature. It’s as though Freddie Wong made a movie, came up with a scenario that only took about 30 minutes to explain, and then had to make 50 more minutes of filler scenes of cool stuff happening. NOTE: he did produce a movie called Bear. It’s as bad as it looks.
I know it sounds like I’m just complaining for the sake of complaining. I’m just really mad. 84 minutes should be a slam dunk for an action/thriller – cram that full of special effects, wow me, and send me home not caring about story and actually having enjoyed my time. Instead I got a whiny brooding character that takes up the majority of the movie before we get any real action. Oo, a floating rock. Big deal. Maybe if this was 1962 that would be a cool effect, but you’ve got to step up your game these days.
Unknowns, please stay that way and spare me from any more Chronicle-esque movies.
